Christmas Cards and Airplanes

Christmas is getting nearer and nearer =D
Yay!

So.. Yet another week has passed, and yet, the question "Where the hell is this all going?" keeps comming back more frequently..
Which isn't new to me cause I think I already think this around this time of the year.. every year of my life - Probably started as soon as I could remember things, though -
I mostly just ignore the question, cause If I won't I'll get really really depressed..

Cause you see, I do think my life isn't going anywere..
I'm just one of those insegnificant little persons who is probably going to work at a supermarket for the rest of her life, though she's high educated..
Yeah, that's gonna be me..
And I'm gonna get pregnant at 25, and get divorced ar 26, and be single untill the day that I die, and I'll be a sad old lady with grumpy kids who won't come to see me, grandchildren who can't stand the sight of me, and an old-people home with disgusting food and dusty rotted chairs..
Yep, that's my future!
*sigh*
The motivation..

Now you'll probably be wondering WHY I think like this..
The answer to that is, I never reach my goals, I NEVER reach my goals..
Might be because my goals are to high or to hard or whatever..
I never reach them..
I never win anything, I never get good friends, I never get into any courses, I didn't make it through the acting-school-auditions, I didn't make it to the school band, I always get picked last when worked in groups, I'm always the outsider, I'm never allowed to come along, nobody's interested in me, everybody thinks I'm just not smart enough, etc etc..
And it pisses me off! It really does!
And I try! I really do try my best! I give a full 500% but it never works! It never works..
I'm just not good enough..

I've never even had a boyfriend..
"Never?"
No..
"Kissed?"
Never been kissed..
"Are you serious?"
You think it's funny to joke about something like this?

Cause really, it's not.. Everybody thinks I must have had loads of boyfriends, I could get any boy I want..
HA! Yeah right! You must be talking to the person behind me, right?
Cause NO! It's all true.. I've never ever had a boyfriend..
And they say you can't miss what you've never had..
Well I think that's damn-right bullshit!
Cause you CAN miss what you've never had!
It's what makes your head messed-up!

I'm not all freaky because I've never had a boyfriend, yet..
Please, don't think that.
I'm perfectly sane ( Though I might not always act like it 0=] )
Still, it think it would be nice though..

Enough rambling about how incompetent I am..

Next stop is!
*makes bus sound*
Christmas cards!! =D
Yeah! Christmas Cards!
I love Christmas Cards..
I love sending them, and I love getting them =D
- probably should have written that down the other way around.. -
And I've made a list to people I want to send it to!
And if you're on it, you're a lucky person cause my cards are SO cute! =D
I'll show a pic! =D
Cute aren't they?! =)
I think they are.. *nods*
Can't wait to send them..

NEXT STOP! =D

I'M SO INCREDIBLY NERVOUS!!
Whoosh o_O
Not even NORMAL!
Coming Saturday (The 19th) I'll be leaving to France to visit my Grandfather together with my neece! I'm so excited =D
I'm so looking forward to it! We'll go by plane.. just the two of us.. And only THAT already makes me nervous cause I've never traveled by plane on my OWN before..
I've traveled by plane a few times but never cared enough to actually mind how it all goes and stuff..
But now I'll have to do it on my own o_O
Cause I'm the oldest and my neece will probably expect me to take care of everything
- I'm expecting myself to take care of everything, cause I'm way to scared something will go wrong if someone else do it, THOUGH I don't know the fuck how this all goes?! -
Anyway.. It's gonna be loads of fun!
I'm sure of that..

So now I'm going to decorate my own little christmas-tree for on my desk =D
Yay! =D
And ofcourse I WILL show a pic when it's up!
WHOOSH!