Time To Move Away From This Game

Yesterday was my actinggroup (Including me) performing Macbeth..

And It was so incredibly much fun!

It was amazing! I laughed so much!

Preperations were never this relaxed and fun!

Though.. Rehearsals were crap, but that’s tradition ;)

I would have liked “him” sending me a text with goodluck or something..

I don’t know why, I just really would have appreciated it..

Not to have a little feeling that he still cares..

But just to know that he doesn’t hate me?

Or that he still wants good for me..

I don’t know why.. I just know that I really really would have liked that..

Would have made me very happy..

It was hard not to have him there, though he was supposed to if we didn’t break-up..

I thought about him a lot.. How much fun it would have been..

Or probably not, cause he’s just tired and shaggy all the time, so maybe it was only better he wasn’t there..

I was really happy that my friends boyfriends could come, that was really nice for them. So sweet.. One even brought flowers for her..

Got me a bit jealous though.. I want that to, I want arms around me to, I want someone to give me a kiss and tell me I did a great job, I want someone to take with me when we go out for a drink..

Their really different though, when I see them together, they’re still as much in love as they were in the beginning, and they’re together twice as long as I was with “him”..

With him it just got less, and less, and less.. Until I almost got nothing of his attention anymore..

I was just a picture on the wall that he looked at when he walked by..

They had so much attention for each other.. “He” was only like that in the beginning..

I’m starting to see that this really is the best way.. He wasn’t good for me, absolutely not..

Especially not in the end. I still don’t know why I loved him, or why I still love him..

I do know that I need, MUST, get over him, move on, find somebody who treats me how I should be.

This is the best way to go.. It’s time to leave him behind..

I gave him everything I had, I gave him my life, my soul, my mind, my body and my heart..

I lost the girl I was in trying to please him, keeping him happy, making him happy, keeping him with me..

I wasn’t me anymore, I couldn’t be me anymore, to scared of losing him I spend all my time trying to keep him..

But I lost.. I lost the game, now be a good loser and raise your chin and go on.

Leave this game behind, find a new game, start a new game.. And maybe I’ll win this time, or maybe I won’t..

At least I can say that I learned a very important lesson, and I will learn more..

At least I can see what’s important..

Time to move away from this game.. 

[Pictures of Macbeth will follow =D]